mzrowan

I just got the call I've been dreading. It's time for my beloved cat, who I've had for 20 years, since she was six weeks old, to go. Over the last two years she's gone from amazingly good health for her age to having a stroke, arthritis, hyperthyroidism, high blood pressure, and failing kidneys. She's almost blind from the high blood pressure. She can barely walk from the combination of everything. But she was soldiering on, and seemed to still be enjoying life for the most part.

But now she has an aggressive cancer and the vet says that it's time. That her pain and discomfort will only increase from here on out. And if we don't pick the time and place, it will be chosen for us, and no one wants to come home or wake up or just turn around to find a dead cat.

I really hoped she'd make it to spring. Selfishly, I know. I didn't want any more pain and loss this year. But no. 2019 is going out the way it came in – with a sudden kick to the teeth.

Today feels dominated by unpleasant tasks – writing a difficult email, doing my overdue personal taxes, cleaning up cat pee – so I'm extra-glad it started with a long snuggle in the bed with my aging, grumpy cat who doesn't much want to snuggle anymore, followed by a trip to the farmers market and the resulting tasty lunch.

Nothing punches my emotional buttons harder than knowing that I could have prevented something bad from happening if I'd only been more on the call – done more research, had more cope, been more organized. No amount of rationalization about how stressed and busy I've been helps soothe me much.

Like for instance, our house is currently having almost all of its wood shingles replaced because I didn't get it painted sooner. Which is expensive, time-consuming, and noisy.

Or, the one that's really got me frantic today – my cat is now partially (totally?) blind, and I might have been able to prevent that.

( this got long... )

She went in for her radio-iodine treatment yesterday and the vet noticed right away that she had vision problems. She was apparently walking into the sides of her cage because she couldn't see them. I'd just thought she was agitated from high thyroid levels, and confused. She's never been the brightest of cats.

But yeah, now she might have detached retinas from high blood pressure from hyperthyroidism, says Dr Internet Vet. And there's nothing to be done about detached retinas if you don't catch them in the first 48 hours.

So...if I'd asked for a second opinion on radio-iodine treatment in December...if I'd known vision loss was a potential side effect...if I'd done something sooner about her dilated pupils...if I'd realized she was having trouble seeing and not just a little more confused about things...my cat might still be able to see. Now she might never see again. And it's my fault, and nothing can convince me otherwise.

Here's a first for me in 20 years of road warrior life: the airline lost my checked bag. (Specifically JetBlue, although I don't think that particularly reflects badly on them compared to any other airline.)

Dropped my bag off at the counter in Boston...went to pick it up after stopping for a quick lunch in the terminal at SFO...no bag. Stopping for lunch meant all the other passengers were gone when I got there, leaving the unsettling possibility that someone had (mistakenly?) walked off with my bag. So after a few days without news, I figured it was gone for good. If someone were going to call in about accidentally taking the wrong bag, they would have done it by then.

But then! I got someone on the phone at JetBlue who had more data. Seems that the only scan they have for my bag tag is when it got dropped off. It should have been scanned when it got on the plane and again when it got off. This makes it more likely that my bag is lost in an airport somewhere, which actually is good news, I think.

I'm again hopeful I will someday get it back. I like that suitcase. It matches my other suitcase. It has stuff in in that is of sentimental value to me, but almost nothing of monetary value, except an extremely old iPad with no data plan.

I feel like I've been living in an urban version of the classic country song lately – my boss up and quit, my cat is sick, and my luggage has left me.

UPDATE: Got my daily call from JetBlue to tell me they haven't found my bag. On the one hand, I get why they feel they need to do that, but on the other hand, it gets my hopes up every. damn. time. Asked this person what info they had and it was different from what I was told last time: the bag was reported as having been loaded on the correct plane. And tag scans on unload are not usually done, so no data there. SFO says they don't have my bag. So we're back to someone took it home?

First thing I'm doing with my new and/or returned luggage is adding a ribbon to the handle and filling out the address tag.

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Entries tagged with cat

Saying goodbye to Princess Guildenstern of Darkness

A mix of a day

Coulda shoulda woulda

Bucket list?

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November 2022

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